When I said my yes to God back in May 2018 I had no idea what would happen in this journey or where it would take me. And now I am question is this the end of a journey? Or is this the start of another one?
In March 2018 I went on the exploring leadership day run by the Army at William Booth College. For most people in the group this was not their first time going to ‘the college’, however being a first generation salvo (or a muggle as my parents have termed it) this was a very new experience for me.
I remember my reaction walking into the college for the first time was ‘wow’, and I had a similar feeling the next day when I entered the main worship hall for the first time and felt the immense presence of God resting on us.
But there was something else that I remember feeling after that first trip to the college, a sense of peace. On the Sunday morning of the conference I got up early to write an essay for Uni, and when I had finished, I checked my phone and had a message from one of the corps folk’s back in Edinburgh. We chatted over messenger for a few minutes, and she asked about the college and what were my first impressions. I responded that it felt like home.
Now, I know how cliche that sounds, but it was true, this place with so much history attached to it felt not only exceptionally welcoming, but also like somewhere where I knew I would live, like that experience when you are looking at a flat and imagining life in it, you can just tell when somewhere feels like home.
Over the next two years I went to the college a few times for research at the Heritage Centre when I was working on essays or my dissertation, or for the exploring leadership day the next year, and after each visit that feeling of ‘this feels like home” was always present.
Over this period I firstly became a soldier (in April 2018), and then began to explore officership and my calling more seriously. I formally entered the process whilst working at Buckhaven in 2020 and then, in November 2021, I packed and journeyed back down to the college for the Psyche Assessment Weekend. And this time there was another feeling accompanying the ‘feels like home’, a feeling of pressure and worry. And as the weekend and the interviews went on, whilst the pressure disappeared almost instantaneously, the worry didn’t. The Psyche finished and we were given our results which allowed us to continue in the process.
Finally, in mid January, Luke and I, along with some good friends, made our way to the college for our Assessment Conference. For those who don’t know, the Assessment Conference is a packed weekend where you give an assessed sermon and personal talk, complete various tasks and participate in a role play, and then have lots AND LOTS of interviews! This weekend is viewed very much as do or die. At this point, the people back in Scotland who had walked and supported me through the process could do no more, this was a different kettle of fish…
But after the last interview, sitting in a friend’s flat having a cuppa, that feeling of being home returned so, so strongly. The fear, the worry and the anxiety that had come down to London with me passed away, and the feeling of being home, being where God wanted me to be washed over me afresh. The college felt like home. And in that moment I knew that the yes I had said to God nearly four years previously was being realised.
The next day Luke and I were travelling back to Scotland not expecting to hear the results of the weekend until the next day, and so we had relaxed into our journey. However, just as we came into Birmingham I checked my phone and saw I had a voicemail from the DC (Divisional Commander, the Salvation Army’s equivalent of a Bishop).
The DC had done the meeting at Buckhaven so thought the call she wanted to have would be about that. When we got to the next station I went and stood in the vestibule area and dialled her back, thinking the call was about the meeting I was a little surprised that she wanted to talk to Luke as well, but beckoned him to come and join me.
And standing in the train vestibule at Birmingham New Street Station the DC informed us that we were both being recommended for training! The sense of relief was second to none, and I collapsed onto the floor realising what this news meant.
However, this was not the end, we needed to wait until the Territorial Candidates Board who make these decisions formally accepted us. They met on the 27th January and at midday all of us who went for assessment received the news that in September we would be training as Cadets of the Defenders of Justice session!
My journey to this point has not always been the smoothest, and God and I have had our disagreements about different things (mainly about me not trusting Him enough), knowing that through it all, He has been faithful, and the call to ministry I felt as a young child, and the call to officership as a teenager are now one step closer to being realised. I am going to the College, and for two years, it will be home.
Is this the end of a journey, or is it the start of another one… we shall see